i finished my christmas list i can’t wait
- $ 1,000,000 in cash
- the souls of those who have displeased me this year
- another boyfriend in case my other one escapes
"date a girl who reads!!", "brainy is the new sexy!", "bigger books are better than bigger boobs!"
oh shut the fuck up
date a person who makes you smile, who makes you snort soda out of your nose and still thinks your laugh is cute
not based on how many john green novels they’ve read or episodes of sherlock they’ve watched you petty little fucks
.الجيات أحسن من الرايحات
What is coming is better than what is gone.
People hate that I flip two cigarettes
Upside down in each pack
But I hate that people notice
When you gain three pounds,
But not when you buy a new hat.
I’ve been told that the way I sleep
With one leg draped over
The person lying next to me
But I think it’s annoying
When people tell me
I look pretty,
But only when I paint my face.
I’ve heard that old men
Like to touch the girls who work late at bars,
But I want to know
Why they never kiss the women they married
fourty-two years ago.
I’ve noticed that mothers teach their daughters
That it’s rude to refuse a hug
From an uncle they’ve met three times,
But forget to teach them
That they aren’t obliged to kiss
The boy who paid for dinner.
Drunk me is the me I really want to be. Confident, hilarious and, most importantly, drunk.